Christening invitations: when to send them, what to write and what everyone forgets

Short answer: send christening invitations three to four weeks before the service, and ask the godparents much earlier, in a separate conversation. The invitation needs the child’s name, the date and time of the service, the church, the venue for afterwards and a clear reply-by date. Below: ready-to-use wording and where a naming ceremony fits in.

When to send — and why the church sets the pace

Most christenings happen within the first year or two, and the date is agreed with the vicar or parish office rather than picked off a calendar. Many churches also ask parents — sometimes godparents too — to attend a short preparation session first, so the date is often fixed later than families expect.

Once it is confirmed, do not sit on it. Three to four weeks’ notice is enough for a family guest list, and close enough that nobody forgets. If relatives are travelling far, or the service lands near half-term or a bank holiday weekend, send a one-line heads-up with just the date as soon as you have it. There is more on matching notice to occasion in our guide on when to send invitations.

Godparents are not guests — ask them first

The most common mistake: godparents finding out about their role from the same invitation as everyone else. Being asked is its own conversation, weeks earlier, ideally face to face or on the phone.

In the Church of England the tradition is three godparents — two of the same sex as the child, one of the other — and the church will usually ask that they have been baptised themselves. For a Catholic baptism it is one or two, at least one a practising Catholic. Check early, because it affects who you can ask. The invitation that follows is then just confirmation of details — and naming the godparents in it is a touch guests genuinely like.

What the invitation must include

• The child’s name — for many guests, the first time they see it written down.
• Date and time of the service — the service, not the party. If they differ, give both.
• The church — full name and address, not ‘our local church’.
• The venue afterwards — with an address, even if it is your own home.
• Who is inviting — the parents’ names.
• A reply-by date — a real one, such as ‘please reply by 31 May’.

It does not need paragraphs about gifts — one line at the end is plenty.

Two wording examples

More formal:

“Sarah and James Whitfield are delighted to invite you to the christening of their daughter Elsie Rose at St Mary’s Church, Twickenham, on Sunday 14 June at 11.30 am, and afterwards to lunch at The White Hart on Church Street. Please reply by 31 May.”

Warmer:

“Our little Arthur is being christened, and we would love you to be there. St Mary’s Church, Twickenham, Sunday 14 June at 11.30 am — then sandwiches and cake in the church hall after. Let us know by 31 May if you can make it.”

If the party is anywhere other than the church, add one line about getting there.

A naming ceremony instead of a christening

A growing number of families choose a secular naming ceremony, and it deserves the same care. A celebrant leads it wherever you like — a garden, a village hall, the function room of a favourite pub — and instead of godparents you can appoint guideparents or supporting adults. The child is still publicly named and celebrated, which is the heart of the day.

Timing is identical: three to four weeks’ notice, guideparents asked earlier and separately. And say plainly that it is not a church service, so guests know what to expect in length and dress.

The things families remember too late

When guests should arrive. A christening can sit inside the main Sunday service or stand alone in the afternoon — two very different arrival times. Say which.

Photography. Many churches restrict photos during the service. Ask the vicar first and say so in the invitation.

Other people’s children. Say whether it is a family-friendly do. The parents among your guests will ask anyway.

Gifts. One sentence beats a message relayed through an aunt: ‘your presence is the only present we need’, or a concrete suggestion if you have one.

Paper or a link — an honest answer

A small family guest list is exactly where online invitations earn their keep: the link reaches everyone within minutes on WhatsApp or e-mail, guests RSVP online with one tap, and the map to the church sits inside the invitation. A quieter argument: a christening invitation carries a child’s name, and with us guest data is deleted automatically 14 days after the event.

But be honest about the edges. For great-grandparents and the oldest relatives, print a few copies or simply telephone — a link means nothing to someone without a smartphone. It is not either-or: pick one of the ready-made templates, send it as a link, and read the same words to Grandma down the phone.

The short version

Ask the godparents weeks in advance and separately; send the invitations three to four weeks before the day. Get the essentials right — the child’s name, the time of the service rather than just the party, the church’s full address, the venue afterwards and a firm reply-by date. Everything else is one line about gifts and one about children, and you are done.

FAQ: Can a christening invitation be digital? Yes — at a family scale it is now the most common choice, provided it looks like an invitation rather than a message tossed into a group chat. A dedicated page with the child’s name, the date, the church address, a map and an RSVP button reads as a proper invitation — and the reply list tells you who is left to chase.